Silenzio bruno

Confidence! Maybe you’re born with it, but you can also develop it. Sitting with cup of coffee and as usual surfing YouTube and landed on TED talk video, I thoroughly enjoyed watching Brittany Packnett’s on how to build your confidence. Which clear my thoughts on confidence, it taught me that confidence is a muscle, and it can be built up.

Let me share that theory to build your confidence and how it can benefit you in work, relationships, or all aspects of life.

Not just accept but assure yourself:

These days’ people share creative quotes with good morning message, my office friend shared one with panda picture says “accept who you are”. While it can be said with the greatest intentions, it can also be counterproductive. Accepting who you are now can ironically allow you to believe that you have to settle for a certain fate. You may feel that you are not worthy of certain things because you have accepted this current, perceived version of yourself. Because of this, you do what you’ve always done and don’t aim any higher.

So (what I really feel), instead of just accepting yourself as you are now, build your confidence by assuring yourself that you are perfect in being yourself and that you can have high standards for how you live your life (let me suggest one song here, “Who says” , Selena Gomez & The Scene)

Fake it…Till make it:

Everyone thinks negatively at times. One way to develop confidence is to counter those negative thoughts. Even Rihanna, a renowned singer, admits to not always feeling her best. Her advice? “Pretend” (love this trending reel, and her expressions are simply Oh yes Girl!)

The old saying “fake it until you make it” might actually be sound professional advice, with new University of Melbourne research finding self-confidence is a key determinant of workplace success.

Hocus — Focus (pocus) on self:

I’ve seen people whose only job is to judge other people and bla bla bla… (Self-experience and latterly I’ve seen few people who always talk about my look, the way I talk to other people in office) but never mind such things and just walk on your own path. It’s easy to compare yourself to other people, especially when someone constantly watching you and judging you on your looks, talks (I’ll be in my comfort zone now and always, just like who cares) But, building confidence has to come from within, when you start focusing on yourself it’s just like watering plant. Watering a plant is like growth and bear fruit. When you start focus on self, that’s it… confidence is the fruit. Compering self is self-destructive. Always remember you can never be anyone else and you shouldn’t want to. You have the best possible outcome when you stop comparing your accomplishments to that of other people. Instead, focus on your own health and goals which will help you grow strong.

Absolve yourself:

Self-acceptance is perhaps the best gift you can give yourself. Like you give yourself the grace to make mistakes, learn, and move on. Forgiveness means that you accept the behavior, you accept what has happened, and you are willing to move past it and move on with your life without ruminating over past events that cannot be changed. To love yourself is to be in absolute admiration of all you are, mistakes included. By forgiving yourself, you learn how to love yourself, and you exude confidence.

Always remember Four “R” of forgiveness: Responsibility, Remorse, Restoration, and Renewal.

Allow yourself to be vain:

Being vain has gotten a bad rep when truthfully, we should all do it more often. What I believe is a quick fix to low self-esteem is looking at yourself in the mirror and falling in love with what you see (that’s why Scars to Your Beautiful by Alessia Cara is my favorite). Always accept yourself the way you are.

Daily morning story is I look in the mirror and tell myself I am beautiful, regardless of the world’s standards. When it comes to confidence, the only opinion that matter is mine. Repeating this mantra drastically changed my confidence for the better. And it’s part of a cycle. Believing you’re beautiful makes you more confident, and being confident makes you more beautiful.

So what if they are watching:

Do wherever you want to do…Do whatever feels right…Do whatever makes you happy and don’t think what people think, don’t care about anyone else’s opinions.

The freedom that comes with doing what makes you happy is confidence. It puts an extra pep in your step and helps you to hold your head higher. The more you believe in yourself, the more confidence you will exhibit.

Pass over negativity:

When people say things that hurt you, take whatever is useful and ignore the rest (just like Sab moh maya hai). Use criticism to be a better version of yourself. Instead of seeing negative comments as they were intended, look at them from a positive viewpoint. Just like in formation song by Beyonce “You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation, Always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper”

No more failure frustration:

This is an important component of confidence: not being held down by failures. Confidence is having the undying tenacity to try again until success is attained.

Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling outlined the importance and value of failure. A few short years after her graduation from college, her worst nightmares were realized. In her words,

“I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.”

Coming out of this failure stronger and more determined was the key to her success.

You are your own cheerleader:

Give yourself credit for all you’ve accomplished. You can be your own cheerleader. It is okay to encourage yourself for all the things you are proud of. Give yourself a pat on the back, a round of applause, even a cheer. Because you deserve it. So cheers to Health, wealth and self!

Psychology says positive self-talk illuminates hope and happiness, “When negative events or mistakes happen, positive self-talk seeks to bring the positive out of the negative to help you do better, go further, or just keep moving forward.”

Be the Change You Want To See:

You Must Be the Change You Wish To See In The World. So many of us have heard this quote by Gandhi Ji (Gandhi is commonly, though not formally, considered the Father of the Nation in India and was commonly called Bapu (Gujarati: endearment for father)

Confidence is contagious. When you are confident, you inspire the people around you to also be confident. Confidence is inspiring and encouraging. It encourages others to build their own confidence. Imagine if you started exuberating confidence, and then your co-worker, her/his little sister or brother, and her/his best friend also did too. The cycle of confidence would be empowering across all people!

(Title disclaimer: The phrase “Silenzio Bruno!” is from Disney and Pixar’s Luca. it is a joking phrase from Luca’s best friend Alberto that encourages him to overcome his inner “Bruno,” aka his doubts and insecurities.)