…And I’ll be me!
“The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes and that’s every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again…” The Rachel dialogue in the one with Monica and Chandler’s wedding…Lots of people have watched this show, for many different reasons but mostly for its way of tying in different aspects of real life. Friends is a show that ties in comedy, romance, and drama. I personally love the show. It’s just a timeless show that you can watch time and time again.
But the Rachel’s dialogue is reality of life these days… (Wish for things to go back to normal)
Week after week after week, we have seen some pretty horrific examples of humanity pitted against humanity. After every incident, I’ve gone through my range of emotions, I question why these things keep happening (Virgo, over thinkers ;) ), I run through some pretty intense fear-based thoughts, and I bring myself back to my own sense of peace. That has been my process, and truthfully, it has worked pretty well for me thus far. This week however, I let the fear linger a little too long. I went a little too far down the rabbit hole of thinking, to where I was contemplating changing my life plans, cancelling travel plans, and even for a split second, wishing harm to those who perpetuate this hate (I’m not perfect, no one is!), but then I remembered that this way of thinking, this fear-based thinking, is exactly what feeds and creates the world we are living in now.
I was recently in a situation where the actions of another person where confusing, hurtful, and frustrating for me. I spent so much time judging this person, being sad that this person wasn’t acting in a way that I expected them to, being hard on myself, and wondering what I could have done to make this person act this way. I have to interject that these are all behaviors that I know will only cause me more suffering, but I do believe that trying situations are always tests to see just how much we’ve learned in life.
I was working really, really hard to release this person and to forgive this person and for some reason I was having difficulty getting to a place of peace. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago, when a lesson from Vipassana changed everything “Just accept people where they are. This concept shifted me out of a judging, ego mind-set, and back into a loving, compassionate place. I immediately felt like I was viewing this person for the first time, and could see that they were simply doing the best they could in the moment. The charge was gone, and now I feel released from the mental anguish I was putting myself through over it. Wow what a relief! Trust me on this…
After this I began to realize that incorporating this principle with every person we come in contact with would create so much more understanding and compassion.
Acceptance of where other people are ditching judgment and expectations of how you think people should act. It also means releasing the inferiority complexes we pick up at times when we feel more evolved spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.
The truth is we will never fully know what is going in someone’s life. We don’t know the full truth or let’s say all their stories. Though at many times, we try to write our own versions of their life’s stories to suit our ego’s best interest. I’m guilty of that as well. What we do is that we are all just doing the best we can do with the circumstances are given. We’ve all been given very different lots in life, and so the way in which we handle what life throws us will be different. The major key here is that it is not our job to judge others for how they handle life, it isn’t even our job to try and change people to make them “better” or more tolerable. Our job strictly is to consistently live in our own light…truth…and love.
When we accept others as they are, we give them the space to find their own space and to learn their own truth (or let’s say reality). Just because we accept and love others as they are, does not mean that we have to participate in their stories or mentalities. With acceptance and compassion, come healthy boundaries.
If you’re struggling in a relationship or situation with another person, try to switching mind-set to allow them to just be where there are on their path in this moment. Don’t try to change them, don’t allow yourself to get wrapped up in their story. Simply accept.
Notice what happens, and let me know in the comments!
